What Do Happy and Successful Students Have in Common?

Gillian Hammond is an experienced educational leader who has served as Chief Education Officer at Excella and Principal at three Repton schools. She is passionate about delivering world-class education and creating supportive, engaging learning environments where every child can thrive.

As parents and educators, we naturally want our children to be successful. We want them to do well at school, discover their strengths, gain qualifications and eventually find a fulfilling career.

But there is another question that is just as important: Are they happy while they are doing it? And perhaps even more importantly: Are we preparing them for a successful life, rather than simply successful school results?

After many years working in education, I have become increasingly convinced that the happiest and most successful students are not necessarily those with the highest grades, the busiest schedules, or the longest list of achievements. Instead, they tend to share a collection of habits, attitudes and approaches that enable them to flourish both inside and outside the classroom.

Research increasingly supports this broader view of educational success. The OECD's PISA research, for example, looks not only at academic performance but also at students' wellbeing, sense of belonging and capacity to learn independently. In the UAE, 71% of 15 year-olds reported in PISA 2022 that they felt they belonged at school, while 27% reported feeling like an outsider or left out. (OECD)

So, what do thriving students have in common, and what can parents look for when choosing a school?

1. Are students comfortable with challenge?

One of the most important characteristics of successful learners is not that they find learning easy. It is that they know what to do when learning becomes difficult. There is a significant difference.

A child who has always found schoolwork easy can understandably become frustrated when they eventually encounter something they cannot immediately master. A child who has regularly experienced appropriate challenge, however, is more likely to think: "I can't do this yet. What could I try next?"

The important word here is yet, but resilience is about more than simply encouraging children to think positively. Students need to be taught practical strategies for approaching difficult tasks, monitoring their progress, and changing their approach when something is not working.

This is where the research on metacognition and self-regulation is particularly interesting. The Education Endowment Foundation's review of 355 studies found that approaches which explicitly help students plan, monitor and evaluate their own learning are associated with an average of eight additional months' progress over the course of a year. The EEF also emphasises that these strategies work best when they are explicitly taught, modelled, and embedded within normal curriculum learning. (EEF)

In other words, independence should not mean simply telling a child, "Do it yourself." It means teaching them how to become independent.

Parents considering schools should therefore look beyond questions such as, "How much homework will my child get?" or "What percentage of students achieved the highest grades?" and also ask:

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  How does the school stretch students who are ready for more?
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  How are students supported when they struggle?
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  Are mistakes treated as opportunities to learn?
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  Are children taught strategies for overcoming challenges?
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  Do teachers encourage students to become increasingly independent?

A good education should involve moments when students think, "This is hard." The important thing is that they also learn, "I have strategies to work this out."

2. Have students built strong relationships?

Children learn best when they feel known, valued and safe. This does not mean that every student needs to be the most popular child in the class, nor does it mean that school should always feel comfortable. It means that students need to know there are people around them who care about them and believe in their potential.

The relationship between teacher and student is particularly important. Think about the difference between a child thinking: "My teacher is going to tell me whether this is right." And: "My teacher believes I can improve this and is going to help me work out how." The second creates agency.

The UAE findings from PISA 2022 provide an interesting perspective. 70% of UAE students reported that, in most mathematics lessons, their teacher shows an interest in every student's learning, while 75% said their teacher gives extra help when they need it. (OECD)

And classroom interaction matters too. A 2024 meta-analysis of 16 studies found a positive association between teacher talk and student achievement. Inviting students to share ideas and asking questions that build on their responses were associated with stronger achievement, with student engagement playing an important role. (ScienceDirect)

This reminds us that an effective classroom is not somewhere a teacher delivers information. It is somewhere students are encouraged to think, articulate, discover, question and contribute.

Parents should therefore pay attention to the atmosphere as well as the facilities. How do teachers speak to students? Do students appear comfortable asking questions? Are children encouraged to explain their thinking? Does the classroom feel like a place where students are active participants in their learning?

3. Do students have a sense of belonging?

Happiness at school is closely connected to belonging. Children need to feel that they are part of something bigger than themselves…a class, a year group, a team, a house, a school community, or another group where their contribution matters.

The OECD's PISA 2022 research places considerable emphasis on this. Across OECD education systems, students' sense of belonging is associated with important aspects of school life and wellbeing. In the UAE, 71% of students reported feeling that they belonged at school, while 22% reported feeling lonely at school, and 27% said they felt like an outsider or left out. (OECD) These figures are a useful reminder that belonging cannot be taken for granted.

This is particularly important when children move between schools or key stages, enter a new country or culture, or experience significant changes in their lives. A child can be academically capable and still struggle if they do not feel that they belong. Parents can ask schools:

"How will you help my child become part of the community?" The answer should go beyond induction...look for opportunities for your child to contribute, lead, collaborate and represent their school. Look for traditions that create community, but also opportunities where students can shape that community themselves. Belonging is not simply something a school gives a child. It is something a child should have opportunities to build.

4. Do students have a voice, and do they gradually learn to use it?

The most successful young people are rarely passive. They can explain what they are good at, where they need to improve and what they want to achieve. They can make choices and increasingly take responsibility for the consequences. This does not mean giving children complete freedom. In fact, children develop independence most effectively when adults provide appropriate boundaries alongside increasing responsibility.

The responsibility grows as the child grows. A young child might choose which book to read. An older student might decide how to approach a project. A teenager may need to manage competing deadlines, communicate with teachers, and make informed decisions about future pathways.

Research on metacognition reinforces this idea. Effective approaches help students plan and evaluate their learning rather than simply expecting them to become independent automatically. The EEF specifically recommends modelling these strategies and gradually transferring responsibility to students. (EEF)

Parents can encourage this at home by resisting the temptation to solve every problem and answer every question directly. Instead of immediately emailing the teacher when homework becomes difficult, for example, ask:

"What have you tried?"

"What do you think you should do next?"

"Would you like me to help you think it through?"

The objective is not to leave children to struggle alone. It is to help them become increasingly capable of solving problems themselves.

5. Do students understand that success looks different for everyone?

One of the greatest pressures on young people today is comparison. Grades, university destinations, sporting achievements, social media, and carefully curated versions of other people's lives can make children feel that they are constantly being measured against somebody else. But successful education should be personalised. One student may be an exceptional mathematician. Another may discover a talent for languages, design, engineering, music or sport. Another may be an outstanding communicator or natural leader. The goal is not for every child to become the same kind of successful. It is to help each child discover:

What am I good at?
What do I enjoy?
What do I need to improve?
What matters to me?
What could I become?

This is why personalised learning matters. It does not mean lowering expectations. Quite the opposite. It means understanding where a student is now and identifying the most appropriate next step.

The most powerful question a teacher or parent can sometimes ask is not, "What grade did you get?" but: "What are you going to do differently next time?" That question shifts the focus from performance to progress.

6. Do students' families take an active interest – without taking over?

There is an important role for parents here, but it may be different from what we sometimes imagine. Supporting learning does not necessarily mean sitting beside your child every evening supervising homework. PISA 2022 found that, across OECD countries, students who reported greater family support also reported a stronger sense of belonging at school, greater life satisfaction, and more confidence in their ability to learn independently. Students whose families regularly ate together, talked with them about their interests, or asked about their school day also tended to perform better in mathematics; these associations amounted to an increase of 16–28 points after accounting for students' and schools' socioeconomic profiles. (OECD)

This does not mean that having dinner together causes higher grades. Educational outcomes are complex, and the OECD findings describe associations rather than a simple cause-and-effect relationship. But the message for parents is encouragingly straightforward.

You do not need to be a mathematics expert to support your child's education:

Ask what they discovered today.

Talk about something they found difficult.

Celebrate their curiosity.

Eat together when you can.

Ask them to explain something they have learned to you.

Listen to them read.

Sometimes the most valuable educational conversation of the day happens nowhere near a textbook.

7. Are students able to look beyond themselves?

Happiness is not created solely by achievement. Young people also benefit enormously from understanding their responsibilities to other people and the wider world. Community service, environmental projects, charity work, mentoring younger students, teamwork and leadership opportunities can all help children develop empathy and perspective. When students discover that their actions can make a difference to someone else, they begin to see themselves not simply as recipients of education but as contributors to their community. This is particularly important in an increasingly interconnected world.

Schools have an opportunity to help students understand different cultures, perspectives and experiences while developing the confidence to engage respectfully with people who may not share their own background. Academic success gives young people greater opportunities. Character helps them use those opportunities well.

8. Do students understand that wellbeing and achievement are connected?

There can sometimes be a false choice between academic achievement and happiness. In reality, the two are interconnected. Students who feel secure, connected and supported are better placed to engage with learning. Equally, achieving something meaningful can contribute significantly to confidence and wellbeing.

The answer is not to remove pressure altogether. Children need challenge. They need deadlines. They need high expectations. They sometimes need to hear that their work is not good enough yet. But they also need adults who can help them put setbacks into perspective. A disappointing test result should be a moment for reflection, not a definition of a child's ability. A failed audition or sports trial should not become a judgement on a child's worth. A university rejection should be understood as one piece of information in a much longer learning journey. The message should consistently be: "This matters, but it does not define you."

9. Are students prepared for a future we cannot completely predict?

Perhaps the biggest challenge for schools today is that we cannot know exactly what the world of work will look like when today's youngest students enter it. Technology, artificial intelligence, automation, and global connectivity are changing the skills people need. That makes transferable skills increasingly important.

Students need to communicate effectively, collaborate, think critically, solve problems, adapt to change, and continue learning throughout their lives. They also need the confidence to ask questions, challenge ideas respectfully, and use technology responsibly. A future-ready education therefore cannot simply be about remembering more information. It must also be about knowing what to do with information.

The most successful students are likely to be those who are curious enough to keep learning, resilient enough to cope with change and adaptable enough to recognise that there may be several ways to reach a goal.

10. What to look for when visiting a school?

When visiting a school, it is easy to be impressed by facilities, examination results, technology, and photographs of smiling students. These things matter. But I would encourage parents to look beneath the surface and ask yourself:

Do the students look happy and purposeful?

Do they appear confident asking questions?

Are they encouraged to think for themselves?

How does the school respond when a student gets something wrong?

Are academic expectations high without defining children solely by their grades?

Does the school know its students as individuals?

Are children given meaningful opportunities to lead, contribute and make decisions?

How does the school prepare students for life beyond the classroom?

And perhaps the most revealing question of all: "What happens when a student is struggling?" The answer will tell you a great deal about the school's culture…the ultimate measure of success.

Of course, examination results matter. Qualifications matter. University destinations matter. But they are not the whole story. If we do our job well, students leave school not only with qualifications but with a belief in themselves, an understanding of others and the ability to navigate an uncertain future.

They know how to work hard without being afraid of failure. They know when to ask for help. They know how to recover from disappointment. They can work with people who are different from them. They can take responsibility. They can recognise their strengths while remaining open to improvement. And, perhaps most importantly, they remain curious.

The happiest and most successful students are not those who have had a childhood without challenge. They are those who have had the right challenges, the right support, and the opportunity to discover that they are capable of more than they initially thought.

As parents and educators our responsibility is therefore bigger than preparing children for the next test, the next year group, or even the next stage of education. We are helping them build the person they will become. And perhaps the best question we can ask ourselves is not simply: "Will my child succeed at this school?" But: "Will my child leave this school ready to succeed in life, and ready to enjoy the journey along the way?" That is a definition of educational success worth aiming for.